(Originally written June 24, 2009)
Part 7 - Tech Support
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
-- Arthur C. Clarke
*****
Qindao called Tashiki in a panic.
“I need a new computer! My Facebook keeps crashing! Farmtown keeps booting me! Party Poker Sucks! I can't get a damn thing done!”
Tashiki had heard it all before. “Relax, dude. Here's what you need to know:”
Mac users, some of this applies to you, too, so don't go all smug on me.
Computers in general rely on three things to get the job done: the CPU, RAM (Memory) and Hard Drive (Storage). The CPU is what you bought and will not change. Want a really faster computer? Buy a new CPU. Memory measures the amount of places to put things while the computer is running. Windows XP wants 1 Gigabyte of Memory to be happy, and 2 GB to be really happy. Vista wants 2GB and 4 GB. Yeah, I know.
Storage is cheap and plentiful. If buying a new computer, get a big hard drive. Oh, buy as much RAM as you can afford.
So, your Windows experience sucks. Mac users, shut up.
Anti-Virus: Required. No Exceptions.
Norton and McAfee are cheap and easy to use. You generally do not need the Full Protection Suites they will try to sell you. Some of the add on features are, well, useless. Want something free? Avast! Is the one that I use. It's free, mostly easy to use, and has a lot of settings that you can manipulate to make it behave well with all the things you run. Ask me about AVG that lots of people like to use. I absolutely will not ever, and I mean EVER, use them or recommend them to anyone. The AVG web sites for a long time built the site so that once you were directed there (usually without your permission) it started a process that looked like a scan was about to start (without your permission) and then told you that you needed to download and install AVG (without your permission). Noticing a theme here? No AVG. Ever.
Norton Anti-Virus: http://www.symantec.com/norton/antivirus
Avast!: http://www.avast.com/eng/avast_4_home.html
Make sure your Anti-Virus software is fully up to date. In Norton, do a Live Update. In Avast!, do an Update Program. Make sure your protection definitions are up to date. Run a FULL SCAN of your computer. Pay attention to the status updates it gives you. Know how to use your software. Make sure the real-time protection is turned on always.
Absolutely turn on e-mail protection as high as it goes. Do not open e-mail attachments in any web-based e-mail system unless you are prepared for the consequences. Anti virus does not, will not, and will never protect you from Hotmail, Yahoo! Mail, Gmail, or Joe's Baber Shop and Internet Provider webmail service.
Make sure your anti-virus has some way of scheduling a full scan of your computer overnight once a week. For Avast!, that takes a little, um, cheating, but it can be done.
Ad Blockers, Spyware Blockers, Popup Blockers: Not Required. Marginally Recommended.
Most of these are a waste of time. Internet Explorer and Firefox have basic popup and other nefarious activity blockers built in to them. If you are getting popups, then check the settings, or consider not going to those sites any longer.
One recommendation is Ad-Aware. The free version of AA provides sufficient protection from various attacks that don't get blocked by the anti-virus. The registered version of AA (really cheap – good buy) adds additional real-time blocking that may be beneficial to you.
Ad Aware by Lavasoft: http://www.lavasoft.com/index.php
Set Ad Aware to the highest sensitivity and run a FULL SCAN. Pay attention to the status update it gives you. When considering a threat removal, try to remove the identified threats from the Add/Remove Programs control panel first. Once those are removed, run a full scan again. Repeat as necessary. Once you've reached the point where there's nothing more to remove, and if Ad Aware still identifies threats, let Ad Aware remove the threats.
Firewall: Not Required. Highly Recommended.
Your PC is on the Internet. Any computer in the world can find you. ANY. I can find you. You want ME in your PC? I didn't think so. Windows comes with a firewall built in to it. It is mostly sufficient.
Checkpoint (most paranoid and talented group of security professionals I've ever encountered) bought Zone Alarm a few years ago. Use it. It is a pain at first because it will ask you about EVERYTHING that tries to access the internet. Read the instructions and make sure you understand what it's doing and why. No exceptions.
Zone Alarm: http://www.zonealarm.com/security/en-us/home.htm?lid=en-us
Windows Add/Remove Programs: Not Required. Recommended.
Scan through the list of installed programs in the Add/Remove Programs control panel. Anything you know you do not use and will never use you may remove. Anything that looks like a toolbar add-on, browser “assistant”, search buddy, shopping buddy, or something like that, remove it immediately if you have not already done so.
That will clear up most everything that goes loaded into RAM Memory every time you start Windows.
Mac users, shut up. You get this crap, too.
Now for the maintenance issues.
Software Updates: Required. No Exceptions.
Any thing that you have installed will get an update eventually. Know how to use the update features. Anti virus, ad blocker, firewall, all have update features built in to them. Use them. Some printer/scanner add ons also have updates built in to them. I generally do not recommend an update here unless there is something specific you need.
A quick note about Firmware Updates, also called BIOS Updates. These can be really challenging to do correctly and are not for the faint of heart. Do not attempt a BIOS update without adult supervision, and even then, only when it is absolutely necessary.
Windows Auto-update is mostly sufficient, but does not cover all the items that need attention. Make sure you use the Windows Update link that is in your Start Menu (somewhere, depends on XP vs. Vista, and even then, some settings allow this link to be moved or hidden). Internet Explorer also has a link to Windows Update hidden in the Tools menu. Find it. Use it.
Windows Update web site will ask you a lot of questions. Make sure you understand what its asking and follow instructions carefully. Critical updates are required. No exceptions. Recommended updates are mostly optional, but I generally recommend installing them. Hardware updates are hit and miss. I've had hardware updates that broke my hardware. Do not update unless you know what you're getting and why.
If a Service Pack is available, absolutely download and install it. No exceptions.
Updates to Internet Explorer are hit and miss, but generally recommended. I've changed to Firefox, so I'm not as obsessive about IE updates. Except, IE itself is a huge target for hackers. If Microsoft has put out an update, there's generally a good reason why.
Hard Drive Maintenance:
Look up the term Hard Drive Fragmentation and come to know the little slice of hell that has plagued hardware designers and software developers since the 1960s.
Windows has a sufficient defragmentation tool built in to it. There are different ways of getting to it, but the easiest is to go to My Computer and right click on the drive in question, choose Properties, and on the Tools tab, choose Defragment. Go get coffee. Read a book. This is going to take a while.
If you want something a little more industrial strength, Diskkeeper is the way to go.
Diskkeeper: http://www.diskeeper.com/
Lastly, Windows stores a large amount of information on the hard drive that it uses to behave as if it has more RAM than it really does. This is the Page File. You should have the Page File (Virtual Memory) set to System Managed. That appears to be the default for XP and Vista, so I'm not going to go into details on it. Ask if you have questions.
Those files get fragmented like everything else, except they don't get unfragmented bu the normal processes. Use the pagedefrag tool by Sysinternals and available from Microsoft. Run it, tell it you want a defrag on every boot, and forget about it. You will see it work every time you reboot your computer. You know its working.
Pagedefrag from Sysinternals and Microsoft: http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/sysinternals/bb897426.aspx
One last note about the most stupid default setting ever. Microsoft allows for XP and Vista to automatically restart if you and unfortunate enough to experience the Blue Screen of Death. The default setting is for Windows to briefly display the BSOD and then initiate a restart of the computer. Well, if you're looking at a BSOD, then something is seriously wrong, dammit. Continued attempts to reboot will fry the hard drive, mother board, and everything else that you paid good money for.
Right click on My Computer, and go to Properties. Choose the Advanced Tab, and click on Startup and Recovery Settings. If Automatically Restart is checked, UN-check it immediately and thank your personal God that you didn't get screwed.
*****
Thus endeth today's lesson. Let us meditate upon it.
The Spirit of Music (1980)
Rush. Lee, Lifeson, Peart.
Begin the day with a friendly voice
A companion unobtrusive
Plays that song that's so elusive
And the magic music makes your morning mood
Off on your way, hit the open road
There is magic at your fingers
For the spirit ever lingers
Undemanding contact in your happy solitude
Invisible airwaves crackle with life
Bright antennae bristle with the energy
Emotional feedback on a timeless wavelength
Bearing a gift beyond price, almost free
All this machinery making modern music
Can still be open-hearted
Not so coldly charted, it's really just a question
Of your honesty, yeah, your honesty
One likes to believe in the freedom of music
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity, yeah
Invisible airwaves crackle with life
Bright antennae bristle with the energy
Emotional feedback on a timeless wavelength
Bearing a gift beyond price, almost free
For the words of the profits were written on the studio wall
Concert hall
And echoes with the sound of salesmen
Of salesmen, of salesmen
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
-- Arthur C. Clarke
*****
Qindao called Tashiki in a panic.
“I need a new computer! My Facebook keeps crashing! Farmtown keeps booting me! Party Poker Sucks! I can't get a damn thing done!”
Tashiki had heard it all before. “Relax, dude. Here's what you need to know:”
Mac users, some of this applies to you, too, so don't go all smug on me.
Computers in general rely on three things to get the job done: the CPU, RAM (Memory) and Hard Drive (Storage). The CPU is what you bought and will not change. Want a really faster computer? Buy a new CPU. Memory measures the amount of places to put things while the computer is running. Windows XP wants 1 Gigabyte of Memory to be happy, and 2 GB to be really happy. Vista wants 2GB and 4 GB. Yeah, I know.
Storage is cheap and plentiful. If buying a new computer, get a big hard drive. Oh, buy as much RAM as you can afford.
So, your Windows experience sucks. Mac users, shut up.
Anti-Virus: Required. No Exceptions.
Norton and McAfee are cheap and easy to use. You generally do not need the Full Protection Suites they will try to sell you. Some of the add on features are, well, useless. Want something free? Avast! Is the one that I use. It's free, mostly easy to use, and has a lot of settings that you can manipulate to make it behave well with all the things you run. Ask me about AVG that lots of people like to use. I absolutely will not ever, and I mean EVER, use them or recommend them to anyone. The AVG web sites for a long time built the site so that once you were directed there (usually without your permission) it started a process that looked like a scan was about to start (without your permission) and then told you that you needed to download and install AVG (without your permission). Noticing a theme here? No AVG. Ever.
Norton Anti-Virus: http://www.symantec.com/norton/antivirus
Avast!: http://www.avast.com/eng/avast_4_home.html
Make sure your Anti-Virus software is fully up to date. In Norton, do a Live Update. In Avast!, do an Update Program. Make sure your protection definitions are up to date. Run a FULL SCAN of your computer. Pay attention to the status updates it gives you. Know how to use your software. Make sure the real-time protection is turned on always.
Absolutely turn on e-mail protection as high as it goes. Do not open e-mail attachments in any web-based e-mail system unless you are prepared for the consequences. Anti virus does not, will not, and will never protect you from Hotmail, Yahoo! Mail, Gmail, or Joe's Baber Shop and Internet Provider webmail service.
Make sure your anti-virus has some way of scheduling a full scan of your computer overnight once a week. For Avast!, that takes a little, um, cheating, but it can be done.
Ad Blockers, Spyware Blockers, Popup Blockers: Not Required. Marginally Recommended.
Most of these are a waste of time. Internet Explorer and Firefox have basic popup and other nefarious activity blockers built in to them. If you are getting popups, then check the settings, or consider not going to those sites any longer.
One recommendation is Ad-Aware. The free version of AA provides sufficient protection from various attacks that don't get blocked by the anti-virus. The registered version of AA (really cheap – good buy) adds additional real-time blocking that may be beneficial to you.
Ad Aware by Lavasoft: http://www.lavasoft.com/index.php
Set Ad Aware to the highest sensitivity and run a FULL SCAN. Pay attention to the status update it gives you. When considering a threat removal, try to remove the identified threats from the Add/Remove Programs control panel first. Once those are removed, run a full scan again. Repeat as necessary. Once you've reached the point where there's nothing more to remove, and if Ad Aware still identifies threats, let Ad Aware remove the threats.
Firewall: Not Required. Highly Recommended.
Your PC is on the Internet. Any computer in the world can find you. ANY. I can find you. You want ME in your PC? I didn't think so. Windows comes with a firewall built in to it. It is mostly sufficient.
Checkpoint (most paranoid and talented group of security professionals I've ever encountered) bought Zone Alarm a few years ago. Use it. It is a pain at first because it will ask you about EVERYTHING that tries to access the internet. Read the instructions and make sure you understand what it's doing and why. No exceptions.
Zone Alarm: http://www.zonealarm.com/security/en-us/home.htm?lid=en-us
Windows Add/Remove Programs: Not Required. Recommended.
Scan through the list of installed programs in the Add/Remove Programs control panel. Anything you know you do not use and will never use you may remove. Anything that looks like a toolbar add-on, browser “assistant”, search buddy, shopping buddy, or something like that, remove it immediately if you have not already done so.
That will clear up most everything that goes loaded into RAM Memory every time you start Windows.
Mac users, shut up. You get this crap, too.
Now for the maintenance issues.
Software Updates: Required. No Exceptions.
Any thing that you have installed will get an update eventually. Know how to use the update features. Anti virus, ad blocker, firewall, all have update features built in to them. Use them. Some printer/scanner add ons also have updates built in to them. I generally do not recommend an update here unless there is something specific you need.
A quick note about Firmware Updates, also called BIOS Updates. These can be really challenging to do correctly and are not for the faint of heart. Do not attempt a BIOS update without adult supervision, and even then, only when it is absolutely necessary.
Windows Auto-update is mostly sufficient, but does not cover all the items that need attention. Make sure you use the Windows Update link that is in your Start Menu (somewhere, depends on XP vs. Vista, and even then, some settings allow this link to be moved or hidden). Internet Explorer also has a link to Windows Update hidden in the Tools menu. Find it. Use it.
Windows Update web site will ask you a lot of questions. Make sure you understand what its asking and follow instructions carefully. Critical updates are required. No exceptions. Recommended updates are mostly optional, but I generally recommend installing them. Hardware updates are hit and miss. I've had hardware updates that broke my hardware. Do not update unless you know what you're getting and why.
If a Service Pack is available, absolutely download and install it. No exceptions.
Updates to Internet Explorer are hit and miss, but generally recommended. I've changed to Firefox, so I'm not as obsessive about IE updates. Except, IE itself is a huge target for hackers. If Microsoft has put out an update, there's generally a good reason why.
Hard Drive Maintenance:
Look up the term Hard Drive Fragmentation and come to know the little slice of hell that has plagued hardware designers and software developers since the 1960s.
Windows has a sufficient defragmentation tool built in to it. There are different ways of getting to it, but the easiest is to go to My Computer and right click on the drive in question, choose Properties, and on the Tools tab, choose Defragment. Go get coffee. Read a book. This is going to take a while.
If you want something a little more industrial strength, Diskkeeper is the way to go.
Diskkeeper: http://www.diskeeper.com/
Lastly, Windows stores a large amount of information on the hard drive that it uses to behave as if it has more RAM than it really does. This is the Page File. You should have the Page File (Virtual Memory) set to System Managed. That appears to be the default for XP and Vista, so I'm not going to go into details on it. Ask if you have questions.
Those files get fragmented like everything else, except they don't get unfragmented bu the normal processes. Use the pagedefrag tool by Sysinternals and available from Microsoft. Run it, tell it you want a defrag on every boot, and forget about it. You will see it work every time you reboot your computer. You know its working.
Pagedefrag from Sysinternals and Microsoft: http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/sysinternals/bb897426.aspx
One last note about the most stupid default setting ever. Microsoft allows for XP and Vista to automatically restart if you and unfortunate enough to experience the Blue Screen of Death. The default setting is for Windows to briefly display the BSOD and then initiate a restart of the computer. Well, if you're looking at a BSOD, then something is seriously wrong, dammit. Continued attempts to reboot will fry the hard drive, mother board, and everything else that you paid good money for.
Right click on My Computer, and go to Properties. Choose the Advanced Tab, and click on Startup and Recovery Settings. If Automatically Restart is checked, UN-check it immediately and thank your personal God that you didn't get screwed.
*****
Thus endeth today's lesson. Let us meditate upon it.
The Spirit of Music (1980)
Rush. Lee, Lifeson, Peart.
Begin the day with a friendly voice
A companion unobtrusive
Plays that song that's so elusive
And the magic music makes your morning mood
Off on your way, hit the open road
There is magic at your fingers
For the spirit ever lingers
Undemanding contact in your happy solitude
Invisible airwaves crackle with life
Bright antennae bristle with the energy
Emotional feedback on a timeless wavelength
Bearing a gift beyond price, almost free
All this machinery making modern music
Can still be open-hearted
Not so coldly charted, it's really just a question
Of your honesty, yeah, your honesty
One likes to believe in the freedom of music
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity, yeah
Invisible airwaves crackle with life
Bright antennae bristle with the energy
Emotional feedback on a timeless wavelength
Bearing a gift beyond price, almost free
For the words of the profits were written on the studio wall
Concert hall
And echoes with the sound of salesmen
Of salesmen, of salesmen
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